Just a Starbucks Barista, here to rant and rave about the Bux, complete with tips, stories, and information; please feel free to ask me any question you have about the world's biggest coffee chain. Pull up a chair, I hope you enjoy your stay, and remember, always take the time to smell the coffee!
Don’t order while on your cellphone.
YOU WILL BE DECAFFED.Don’t tell treat the barista taking your order like they’re incompetent, as if they know less about the drinks than you.
YOU WILL BE DECAFFED.Don’t get pissed when the barista asks to repeat your order to make sure they got…
Everything is accurate
(Source: bassoonata)
Ugh, looking at this every night is super depressing. Every time I set my alarms back on I just die a little inside from how early that is.
Be nice to your baristas, this is what we go through on a daily basis!!
ncjs:
I hate when a customer comes up and asks “Do y’ll make the Cap’n Crunch frap?” Or what’s worse “Let me have a Zebra mocha…” with a look on their face that’s obvious they’re waiting for me or someone near them to ask them to elaborate. I just turn to the person on bar and say “Grande mocha with white mocha.” and ring up the customer.
Yeah okay, if I’ve said this once I’ve said it a million times.
THERE IS NO “SECRET MENU” at Starbucks!!
In-N-Out has a secret menu because they have shit NOT listed on the menu boards (ie ‘animal fries’) whereas every fucking ‘secret drink’ at Starbucks is just different flavors in various drinks already on the menu. Like, it’s listed. You just have to combine them.
We also don’t get trained on them and some places call them by different names (zebra vs tuxedo, for example) so coming up and expecting us to know them is bullshit. And don’t get me started on those dumbasses who don’t even know what it’s in the drink. “Uhhh I heard about this thing called, like, marble cake batter? Can I get that?”
Um, no you fuckwit I don’t know what that is. Then we tell them that and they get all pissy.
“What do you mean, you dont know? You work here!”
“Well its not a standard drink and you can’t tell me what you want in it soooo…sucks to be you I guess”.
Seriously people.
If you’re going to order some crazy made up drink you best be prepared to tell a barista what’s in it. Oh and don’t order it by some cutesy fucking name.
So there is a regular at my store, let’s call him….Ben. Most of my coworkers really like him but I really….don’t. There is just something about him that irritates me. His laugh. His assumption he’s funny. The fact he calls the boys ‘boss, dude, man, etc’ and the girls ‘sweetheart, doll, girlie, honey, etc’ (ugh puke in my mouth you creepy misogynistic ass).
Anyway.
He came in the other day and I’m on bar/doing miscellaneous tasks so I’m making it my goal to ignore him as much as possible. He’s being rung up by coworker Y (male) and coworker M (male) is chatting and getting his stuff. Ben starts to complain about our prices. I mean, the company’s prices. Stores don’t set the prices, corporate does, bitching to us does nothing at all except irritate me so if it is that big a deal pick up a phone or write an email. At least they can give you a reason with some authority behind it.
So he’s complaining and whining about food prices (most of the Bay Area of CA USA has a new food vendor, and it’s more expensive. Whatever not my fault) and he says he is only going to buy drinks now. Come on for the love of coffee. He mostly only bought drinks before and our profits will not be impacted by your decision and it won’t change shit.
Believe it though that wasn’t the awful part. No the awful part comes next. He starts bitching and joking that the price increase was to ‘buy the owner a new yacht’ and ‘does all the board really need a second vacation house in Hawai’i’ and ‘how much richer do those guys need to be’ ‘from taking all our money’ and at this point I am about to get crazy on his ass. Y and M are laughing and going along with it and I had to book it to the back room to decompress for a second.
The beat down I wanted to give Ben was this.
You know where your fucking money is going?
This is where
-ethically sourced coffee beans
-construction and improvement in locales in which Starbucks buys beans (wells, schools, irrigation, soil care, clean water)
-complete medical care for all employees who work more than 20hrs/wk. Obamacare got nothing on us
-competitive pay and raises
-internal development (ie moving employees up the chain rather than getting managers from other places)
-community involvement
-improving stores and their machines to give YOU better coffee
-tuition reimbursement for employees who are putting themselves through school
And many other avenues of development.
So think before you open your fat mouth. Starbucks is, all my complaints aside, a great company to work for and strives to take care of its partners. Because oh yeah that’s another thing. We are not employees we are partners because we all get stock.
Fuck you Ben. You’re bitching to ‘your boys’ about the very thing that pays their rent
Hey wow thanks angry impatient customers who apparently had time to stop at Starbucks on Superbowl Sunday for being super considerate and understanding when you watched me spill ~18 oz of scalding hot milk down my front and legs while I still had 15 drinks to make. The blank stares, sighs, crossing of the arms, and most importantly eye rolls really made me feel you cared I could have serious burns.
I know that the reason why none of you asked if I was okay was because you knew I would be fine, even as my two coworkers swarmed around trying to get a burning hot wet apron off and wipe as much milk off as possible.
I also know that your drink and getting somewhere to watch a damn football game (that is recordable and doesn’t start for 3 hrs) is more important than my health and certainly more important than whether I might get third or second degree burns and strip the skin off my legs from the wet cloth.
Thanks for reminding me people care, Starbucks customers. I return that same care: FUCK YOU. Every customer I could see who was directly watching me and saw this and then rolled their eyes, etc got fucking decaf, non fat milk, whole milk, whatever is the opposite of what you ordered. Have a great fucking day assholes
(thankfully no baristas were seriously injured during the making of this story)
This poor barista is unhappy today. First, I trip and the fridge stops my fall with my forehead.
Barely ten minutes later I open a door into my cheekbone.
I’m pretty sure I’m seriously injured in some way, in addition to the red bumps I have on my face from the impacts.
At least my partners brought me ice and let me sit for a few minutes—after they stopped laughing
This morning when I opened my front door soft tendrils of fog curled around my feet. My street was quiet and the moon was gently shadowed by banks of mist, the trees poking through here and there. It wasn’t cold, but it was soft and peaceful. As I drove to work the fog lifted and blew into the sky.
It was beautiful.
There are sometimes perks to being out and about as early as I am for work (before 4 am), and this is definitely one of them
Customer literally told the trainee (who doesn’t know what’s going on and was clearly looking for help):
“No, you have to do what I tell you. I’m the customer and I’m right, you have to make me happy and do as I say.”
Me: *BITCH GET OUT OF MY STORE!!!*
What was the situation? She was a Girl Scout leader (and shaming the organization, of which I was a part for 13+ yrs. She is giving us all a bad rap) and wanted to take the umbrellas we provide to cover their tables with the cookies and chairs. They are not actually allowed on our property, you see.
The kicker of the whole thing?
Part 1: she did not buy anything, ergo she is NOT a customer
Part 2: my pleases-everybody/just-say-yes coworker moved the damn thing for her
Truth. Wish I could post this at my store. I mean, seriously people. Pick one conversation to have. What is the most irritating is when I greet them and try to take their order only for them to glare, ignore me, give me the ‘finger up, hold on’ gesture, something similar or for super extra douchey bonus points a combination of the above.
I want to reach over and turn their phone off. YOU approached ME asshole so don’t get pissy when I try to do my job. I will straight ignore you and wait for you to finish before taking your order OR I’ll be super obnoxious.
Get off your phone fuckwit. If the call is that important why on Earth are you at Starbucks?
Idiots
Picky people and temperature control
(FYI: kids temp is about 120•, regular is about 155•, and our extra hot is 165•;; any temp above about 185•-190• burns the milk, to the extent you can smell it)
Customer A: Can I get my [drink] at 110•?
Me: Sure *kids temp*
Customer B: Can I get my [drink] at 130•?
Me: Sure *kids temp*
Customer C: Can I get my [drink] at 145•/150•?
Me: Sure *regular temp*
Customer D: Can I get my [drink] at 160•?
Me: Sure *regular temp*
Customer E: Can I get my [drink] at 170•/175•?
Me: Sure *standard extra hot*
Customer F: Can I get my [drink] at 185•/190•/195•/200•?
Me: *gags* Sure *190•*
